I Heard His Voice
I grew up in an alcoholic house hold. Both parents drank, dad physically abused mom and mom suffered depression and lived on pills. When I was 16, dad died very suddenly. Mom suffering with many of her own problems became house bound for the next seven years and cried to die. I was a run-away at 16. I went from my home in NY to California. I lived among drug dealers, pimps and occult members. At age 18, I married the first one that asked. My new father in law was a member of the occult and ran his own services in his house.╩Thank God I was able to get out of that marriage of only 6 months. Scary time!!!
To make my life story short. I blamed God for everything in my retched life. I suffered a silent depression for MANY years. I hid well in alcohol and who knew! Even though I blamed God, I knew some how I needed him.
Six years ago, I gave one final cry of desperation out to God. I begged him not to leave me in hell. I was living my mothers life and it was going to kill me. I knew the answers were somewhere within the bible. I struggled for years to find the hidden key to turning my life around. I grew up catholic and I found NO HELP from the church at all. I felt dirty and cheep. Standing in my little kitchen six short years ago, I sent a very desperate plea to God. Change me or I'll die! I cried the biggest flood of tears one ever could, and in the middle of all my heart felt pain╩I heard "I LOVE YOU RITA". I knew it was God Him self. I felt warm and LOVED. Within seconds I opened my bible and without thought opened to John 3;16. I knew without a doubt that I needed JESUS. I felt led to confess my sins and I asked Jesus to redeem me and he did. Within 3 weeks I was Baptized in Jesus name , and have not had one more day of depression.
I can see very clearly now that through all my years of pain, God was always with me. He held my hand while I hitch-hiked cross country. He kept╩the devils hand off me. He gave me the wonderful husband I have and five beautiful daughters ages 12-6. Bill and I have been married for twenty years and I still cant believe it. We grew up together, and when I was 12 years old, he told me he was going to marry╩me some day. I told him he was crazy!! But God had a plan. I have made great changes in a short six years, aside of my salvation, I'm thankful that God has healed my heart and I can say that I love my parents. I only wish they were alive to know this. I have many mountains and doubts that God needs to work out, but I do know Jesus will be with me through it all. God is walking me through my own personal Exodus, and I Praise Him daily for it. And I must say, two of our five girls gave there hearts to Christ and have been Baptized. AMEN.