It's actually a very long story as for my meeting the Lord. I would say my whole life, now I indeed begin to understand why things were the way they were. Nothing happens by accident in people's lives. Every single thing that happened and how my life changed would never be possible without Jesus Christ who is my LORD now. All the Glory to Him alone!
I was born and brought up in Poland. As far as I know there were no new-born believers in my family. I was lucky since my mother stayed with me at home till I was seven years old teaching, talking and reading to me a lot. Being a curious child I was making friends easily in spite of my being born with flat port wine stains on my arms, partly on chest and shoulders.
As a child I dreamed of being an angel or a vet and helping those in danger, rescuing people and animals from life-threatening situations. I would love watching a series 'Touched by an Angel' and 'Highway to Heaven' every Sunday.'
As soon as I took up secondary school I started to learn English on my own. I felt drawn to people of different nations and learning about different cultures. I read many books about people who influenced the world using non-violent methods such as Gandhi, Korczak or Martin Luther King. I admired them for their love and care for people, no matter of their backgrounds, race, or material status. I looked up to them as they were fighting for people's freedom at all cost. I desired the same, wanted to make a difference in this world so that people's lives would be better. Martin Luther King's thoughts always moved me deep inside and I knew that the only true philosophy of life was that God loves every man, every woman, every boy, every girl, and in Him there is no black, no white, no prejudice, just love, peace and freedom.
When I was in the college I stopped attending Roman catholic church. I started to look for something real. I felt there had to be something more than simple existence or traditional dead church. I took up yoga, read and practised a lot. I somehow lived in my own world constantly searching for 'something' I didn't have, Jesus love and peace. There was a non-stop question on my mind: 'How can I find out and do God's will in my life?'
I sometimes used to take the Bible and read about Jesus and disciples from the Acts asking a question in my heart: 'God, why is it all over?' I dreamed of living in those days. There was something about disciples that I admired, they spoke openly and bravely about Jesus. They loved him, knew him and many died for him ...
Years were passing by, I studied, did many different jobs here and there, had plans concerning my life. I was planning that as soon as I graduate from teachers college I would leave for England to study and work. All seemed to be OK, however all the time I felt something was missing in my life. I often felt so empty ...
Can you imagine most things pretty fine and one day in the morning all changes in your life; you cannot walk, can hardly stand on your feet, you have great problems breathing, all strength leaves you. Lifting your arm is a great effort, all changes within one night ... I was moving in my soul that time, I didn't know God personally and I was simply devastated, had no rock to stand on. God came to show me that even making a step is thanks to Him.
I believe doctors can help people and God uses them all the time. Nevertheless, He wanted me to be healed in a different way, just gave me a chance to trust only Him as for this. Back then I went to over fifty doctors, yet no one could help me. From clinic to clinic, examination to examination, they even couldn't diagnose what was wrong with me even though my condition was getting worse and worse.
There were some important days during that past hardship that definitely God used to start a real change and the healing process of my mind and body.
One day staying in my room, after the months of my struggle, fight and deep depression almost getting crazy with no desire to live any more I got on the floor crying to God for help. I will never forget it. I was crying to God asking him to tell me why it was all happening. I was carrying a strong sense of guilt within me for committed sins in the past. I said: 'God, I'm taking your Bible and you'll answer my problem. Is this illness a punishment for my sins?'
I did something I had never done before it was like an impulse, I said to myself; 'I will see your answer in the left-upper corner of this book.' I opened the Bible and read the very verse in the left-upper corner - 'Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be shown in his life' These were words of Jesus (John 9:3) I sensed the words were straight from God, but I didn't fully understand them back then, I was simply too blind to see it. For the first time it come to me that God had forgiven me and my parents. The thought got deep in my heart and I could not forget about it.
Still, I thought it would be too beautiful to be true to be healed by Jesus. I thought I needed some medicine or tablet to fix my body. How could Jesus heal me if he is not on this earth any more? I thought ... Perpetually I was obsessed with fear and thoughts of failure of poor health in my life. I was devastated thinking of myself not walking at all in the future, not cycling, not leading an active life. I was thinking and talking about illness all the time trying to find out the answer and the cause of that.
In one of those days when the breathing problems endangered my life I was already in the half way on the other side. I knew I was leaving this earth, but not ready yet ... I was asking Him and praying, God please help me, may I not die, please, please? He gave me a hand. Whenever I remember that He reminds me of his great love again and it is still so strong in my heart. Something significant happened within me after that experience. No, I was not healed that moment. He found the better way. All the material world, money possessions, plans all that meant quite a lot to me lost their importance and meaning. God gave me a new perspective on life and desire to live began to raise up within me again. I simply knew something strong had changed within me. I began to look at life in a different way.
After that happened the Lord started to place different people on my way who told me about Jesus and encouraged to read the Bible. One of them was a Chinese Buddhist. Praise God for all He does! He can do everything. I decided to go to the north of Poland for a two-week campus to learn Thai Chi exercises that I believed were the answer to my deteriorating health. Just before I left my flat I took the Bible again and saw words from Isaiah book 40:31 in front of me.
Here they are: 'But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.' I quickly took the very verse down on a small piece of paper and put into my pocket. The verse touched my heart deeply. I thought, 'God is really hearing me and He seems to know about my struggle.' On the way to the campus with many changes on the way by trains I would take out the verse and read it all over again in my mind. I felt peace coming into my heart while doing so. When I got to the campus I was about to come back home the same day. I was shocked to see plenty of young people suffering from all kinds of muscle problems and illnesses that caused problems walking. While practising exercises I could hardly stand, many of the people practising too were falling down and going boom on the floor. I was being constantly attacked by thoughts that my condition was going to get worse and worse. In spite of that I was coming to every training and reading the verse about eagles, later singing it. The verse was like an anchor that kept me there and not running away. Every day we had physical exercises and we listened to what a Chinese man and a Polish one where telling us about importance of renewing of thinking. One day I was sitting at the jetty near the campus site and the Chinese came over to me and asked me what I was listening to. It was some sermon on the radio. He said: 'Read the Bible, there is truth in it. Jesus was an enlightened man.' He didn't know Jesus himself, but God used him as well as another Polish man mightily in my life. As soon as I got back from the campus a great change took place within me. God began to change my thinking and more and more hope came into my life. That was like a great fight with the spirit of fear that I began to overcome step by step led by God and His word. I didn't practise Thai Chi for long. Later I realized what was the main reason for my going to the campus, my mind needed a total change before the healing might start to manifest in me.
Soon after that a friend of mine told me about Jesus' healing power and love. She was the first person to tell me that Jesus is still alive and that the things described in the Bible are not only history. I was invited to their home prayer meeting than to their Church in Czech Republic.
I began to read the Bible more diligently and I felt a strong desire to receive the Holy Spirit. I repented of my sins and I asked Jesus Christ to rule my life and left my old life in water in August 1999 when I was baptized in river by Czech Christians. I was indeed sowing in tears back then, but I will always praise Him above all for all what He has done to me.
During one of their meetings when everyone was praying in the congregation I was given a heavenly language from God to pray. It was very powerful experience. I "decided" to truly surrender my life to Jesus. It was a very definite decision. I was absolutely serious about it ... there was no questioning in my heart as to my desire as for doing God's perfect will in my life. God gave me new friends I began to meet different people who were set free of all kinds of bondage like alcohol, drugs, sickness etc. In spite of the opposition I had encountered at home since I gave my life to Jesus I was moving forward with God supporting me.
At the same time a woman taking the lead of soon opening junior secondary school would keep calling me constantly and asking to work for her as a teacher of English. I apologized her several times and said I was not able to work because of health reasons. However, she didn't give up and gave me no peace as for the decision. Finally I accepted her offer which was only 9 hours of teaching a week. Looking back it was the most risky thing I did in my life at that time. I didn't want to disappoint her and I knew what I could manage to do. I had no choice but to do an extreme thing depending on God to help me. I had to take that job. The problem was that I still could hardly stand on my feet for a few minutes to even make a sandwich in a kitchen. Now I had to do a job that required walking up the stairs, standing, being accessible to people etc. I realize now it was God's direction taking that job despite my former condition. For good few years after taking up the job I really had to press on and do daily job duties with great effort physically, but I was determined and only God knew really what I was going through. With time I began feeling better and stronger knowing only Jesus to be my healer.
My relationship with Jesus grew and grew and my thinking began to change and my health improved. After years I began to work more hours totally dependent on God.I often had opportunity to testify to students and co-workers what He did for me and how much He loves them all. God orchestrated many such meetings also when I began to live on my own in 2004. I was involved in preparing students for poetry contests and they would come to my flat and we practised recitation techniques together. One of the students chose a poem entitled 'The Master of the Storm' about Jesus and got the first place in provincial poetry competition. It brought great glory to God when among so many worldly, mainly dark, depressive lyrics someone presented the answer for people's today struggles and problems. More and more I was being led by God to help, support and intercede for young people I used to meet at school. My heart felt for them more and more. Intercession became a great part of my life and even though I did not understand many things the Holy Spirit was doing within me God soon allowed me to meet a couple of Christians that prayed for young people for many years. I would visit them as often as possible and we interceded together in Wisla. They were older in faith and helped me a lot in my spiritual walk.
For a few years after my conversion I used to come across a name - 'Deborah.' I often heard it in my heart or I was getting words from Judges book about Deborah. I asked many people what it was all about as I didn't quite understand what God wanted to tell me. One day a small group of English missionaries came over to our home church in Wisla. We didn't hear about them before. They brought a message and encouraged anyone of us who felt in heart the burden for the youth and children to continue interceding. What they told us was a prayer movement called Deborah Arise International! They told us about people around the world whose heart-cry is for Him to raise up an army of young people, warriors with hearts for missions, evangelism and full zeal and love for Jesus. I was really moved and could not believe hearing all that, I knew it was God calling me and confirming to work with the youth and pray for them. We would meet in our church and even intensified the prayers for the young people since that event. I would often get dreams and visions of hurting children, mainly black often abandoned or at-risk.
I will never forget one morning a few months before the missionaries came to our home church when I was woken up hearing within me: 'Deborah, wake up'! twice. The same day God gave me opportunity to testify about Jesus love and healing power when one of the students asked me at the lesson what should he should do as his back hurts him from time to time. I told them my testimony and how God healed me and how I committed my life to Jesus. There were a few students who where born-again in the same class and they testified about Jesus too. God opened many students' hearts and when I asked them if there were anyone who would like seriously follow Jesus lots of them lifted up their hands. We prayed together and after that we began meetings before lessons in our school. Even though it was a public school the headmistress agreed and we could meet for prayer, Bible reading and conversations about their life struggles. It was a great time. I could see how my heart really felt for them and God was orchestrating everything back then using me as His vessel. All the Glory to Jesus!
I stayed at that school full seven years after that God open the doors for me in Wales through my close friends. One of them I used to work with at school too. Being a teacher was very fulfilling and a precious time and I know God had me in the school for a purpose, but it was like I knew there was something more in life and there is some work for me to do somewhere else. Until very recently I didn't quite know what it was ...
I am so grateful for everything God has done in my life so far.
The change and healing within my body in fact first started with the renewing of my mind. The Word of God, Jesus was that medicine and tablet I needed to fix my body in fact. It was a long process, however whatever He begins He also finishes. He is the author and finisher of our faith. I praise Him for every single day of my walking, cycling, breathing and working in my new life now.
Even though the healing took all these years and there are some areas that still need to be healed in me I'm so happy He took all that dirt that maybe was not seen from the outside. As the priests Jesus spoke to, I was nice from the outside, however inside I was full of deadly bones, nobody could see my heart which was full of envy, competitive thoughts, selfishness, pride, lies and much fear.
What I think is the most important of all is that He continues the transformation of my heart and I took the focus off of me and onto others who need Who I have in me. I have now in my possession what the world is seeking for PEACE that passes all understanding.
I know deep inside I am called to be Jesus' friend and servant and that's all I want to do is show people who Jesus is and how much He loves EVERYONE. I give God all the glory!! Thank you Jesus for your love!!
God Bless Dorota, a Soldier of the cross ... 2jesus