Save The Children
I don't want to start a huge story about my past, but still I have to give you some information, so that you know what I am talking about. I actually remember many days of my childhood that made me very happy. I remember playing with my dad in the little swimming pool, taking long walks with the whole family and having fun on playgrounds.
What I never remembered until now was that there where also days without that love and trust. Days with emotional abuse from my fathers side. Not that he is a bad person and doesn't love his children. The reason for that emotional abuse was alcoholism. My father is alcoholic since over 30 years. I never realized it, I thought that's normal. But there was on some days a lot of violence.
I remember as I came home from school with my certificate for the 5th grade and I had a D in math. My dad beat me for it. I went into my room and cried. Half an hour later he came up and apologized. He told me how sorry he was and that he made a mistake. I was kind of surprised because he never said sorry when he beat me. But he never ever beat me again because of school problems.
As I grew older the alcohol consumed grew bigger and the actions from my dad got worse. I remember that we had a fight and my dad beat me up. My lip cracked open and I was bleeding really bad. At that time I was 16 years. Many other things happened. As I was twelve years old I tried to find friends and had the wrong ones. I got sexual abused from age 12 until age 17. I did not realize it.
As I was 14 I became pregnant and my family forced me to an abortion. I never made this decision by myself. I wanted to have that baby so badly, but my family told me that time, that when this black Negro baby gets born they will send me away, far away and will never ever talk to me again. Well, it took me until now to work it off. I still have a hard time, but as more I pray as better it gets.
I don't want to forget to say that my mom always stood on my side. She cried with me, went with me to the appointment, kept care of me and swore to herself that this will never ever happen in this family. She still keeps care of me, even at 20.
I made many mistakes but now when I look back, I can see how God worked in my life. I remember that time I was crying really bad before I went to sleep, and I could feel how God took me in his arms and put me to sleep. I still remember it and since this time I try really hard to go the way God has planned for me. It just seems so hard sometimes.
I thank you for this Prayer line and Web site for Jesus, because I know how much people need you to find their way to God. I by myself pray for all those who had the same experience that I had.
Lord, I ask you in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, let your love and strength come upon the weak, the abused and the crying because they are all by themselves. Please support them in their way of recovering and help that bad things like that will never happen again. I also pray for my father that he might find his way back to you and have the strength to recover from his alcoholic abuse.
I am also asking you to pray for those who can't defend themselves. Pray for all those children who die through abortions, pray for their mothers and families. Pray for those who are victims everyday. Out there are millions of children who live with daily sexual, emotional and physical abuse. Many get beaten, whipped, mistreated. Please pray for them for they are helpless.
I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.
Thanks a lot for writing me back so fast. You surely can use this testimony on your web site. I was reading your message many times and it just made me feel like I would have wings like an angel. Never ever said somebody to me "it's Okay, Jesus keeps care of you".
Just alone that makes me really really happy. Even when I attend every Sunday in Church and to Bible study did never this message come so clear through as I was reading your letter. My whole life looked always like a huge maze without an entrance or exit. But now I can see light way in the front. And that gives me a lot of hope.
I wanna add something to my testimony. Yesterday somebody from Hennepin County Adoptions called me and said that I'll be able to adopt a child as soon as I am back in Germany (sorry that I didn't mention that I come originally from Germany) and finished the home study classes and other studies, will be able to adopt a special need child. I think that is Gods answer to my many prayers.
I always prayed: God, why can't my little baby just live? Why can't I just give birth to my little baby even when it died before it had enough strength to survive outside of my body? I believe God heard me. Who knows what kind of plans God has for me.
But I wanna encourage every young girl and woman with such problems to fight for their unborn children. Even when your family is leaving you. God is always with you, God is your real family. In such situations nothing else matters. Don't ever let anybody take your baby that is part of your flesh, take away from you. Pray to God and get out of your parents house if you have to, but in Gods sake let your baby live.
Thank you Jesus for digging Marion out of this hell and taking her as your own. Thank you for loving us all. Even the parents that are so abusive. My brothers and sisters, that is love. THAT IS JESUS CHRIST!