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The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality", or more commonly known as S-I-N, as it is primarily systemized by loss of moral judgment. Some other symptoms:
The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, providing factory authorized repair and service, free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The number to call for the recall station in your area is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN by pressing R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E. Next, download J-E-S-U-S into the heart. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, the JESUS repair will replace it with:
Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes. WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction, voids the manufacturer's warranty, exposing owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on J-E-S-U-S.
DANGER: The human units not receiving this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. This Action was Authorized by: The Creator.
You can order your JESUS download here at 2jesus. These are free from now until the tribulation. After that contact us at Jesus's home office.
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